Moments
by nates
Summary: Vignettes. Moments of yesterday, today and tomorrow. Yaoi. Ruhana - sort of. It's all about introspection.
1. Break

**Author's Note: **First Slam Dunk fic. Not much of a plot, just … moments. Con-crit definitely welcome. It's yaoi. Leave, if that's not your thing.

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. So don't sue.

* * *

**Moments **

.. Break ..

He was all lines and contours and awkward angles, a hundred and eighty eight centimeters already, but limbs promising something much more before adolescents' end.

And he gleamed. My God, did he gleam.

Like the just polished surface of a baby grand, or the game ball before the first whistle blew. And if only Kaede was any good with metaphors because nothing, none of that did any justice to how when the light reflected off his skin, here and there, was like exposing a mystery map where there were storybook cities and highways lined with secrets. So he explored, in the only way he was allowed, until his eyes too were filled with maps.

He burned. And it was the sweat and heat and the adrenaline and of course the need. They were all that kept Kaede from withdrawing his hand, because the touch was electricity and chocolate and freshly whipped cream, it was a touch about rain after a decade long drought. So he left it there to feel alive. And was immediately burnt back with a hit to the eye.

The last time they touched. The first time there was a 'they', he had came up from behind, and held him so tight. And Kaede had stopped. He had stopped moving, breathing; heart had stopped beating almost, and willed time to stop too. He yearned to capture eternity in that moment and any movement at all was just. Not. Allowed. So they had stood there in the middle of the basketball courts, with Kaede still gripping the basketball left over from practice. And the Do'aho, head bent, eyes clenched, holding Kaede. So tight.

Then everything breaks, because everything does in the end. And Kaede is left standing alone.

* * *

Yeah. This is RuHana. Yeah. There is an excessive amount of '_and_'s and '_so_'s. Yeah. There is no action to speak of. Um... oops?

Edited 27/1/2005: I can't believe I can still call myself a Slam Dunk fan. facepalms Thanks KanonA :)


	2. Strength

**A/N:** Thanks to all who took the time to review. I'm glad the first one wasn't too horrible. This is the next vignette. It's a little moment down the track, it's a bit vague, but hopefully by the last word, it will make a semblance of sense at least! It's yaoi and definitely not happy. Italics signify thoughts (and in two other instances emphasis). C&Cs are very very welcome.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. Don't sue.

* * *

**Moments**

**.. Strength ..**

"I'm sick." You say. And he doesn't understand because he's still smiling, and touching you, breathing you.

"What?"

And you feel like a fool because maybe you're not sick and it's all a grotesque dream because surely-surely- if you were, he would know, he of all people would sense something was wrong. Him, who knows you best, who has touched, explored, licked, every single part of you. He who saved you once and will no doubt do it again if need be.

Once more. "What?"

_Say it. _

All you need to do is open your mouth and the words will come out because you've prepared yourself, you're ready.

_I'm positive._

And in your mind you see him reel back and blink, shock and denial and acceptance and then, and then…

"Of the rain. I'm sick of the rain."

He chuckles and you feel a tender kiss on your temple, and you can't stand the affection, his kindness, because you don't deserve it. You're weak and you're selfish and you're greedy and all of a sudden you're out of the bed and getting dressed.

He's hurt - you can tell - and confused. But you're going to be strong for once in your life, so you glance back once, smile, and disappear.

-

It's raining again. And he was there again. You itch to go up to him, to demand why he did it, because he was chosen and you weren't, and things were not supposed to be like _this_. But you wait; until you're sure that he's been sitting in the rain long enough for the water to wash the tears away. Because then you'll be able to look at him and hate.

But you can't.

_Sendoh_.

Not when you try to grunt out his name with all the pain, the anguish, the regret - the _past_.

_Sendoh _

Or when you realize that he was still crying goddamnit.

_Sendoh. _

Or when he looks up at you and says –

_Don't. _

– "I'm sorry."

* * *

Er. Hopefully I didn't break any unspokenrules in yaoi writting this. If so - turn the heat down to low when flaming 'k?


	3. Yes

**Author's Note: **Thanks to everyone who took the time to leave feedback, you guys rule. Also, quite an extensive A/N at the end of this little piece which will hopefully clarify some aspects of the **Moments **collection - but mostly it is just me doing what I do best - babble about nothing. Again. This is yaoi. Leave if it's not your thing. Also con-crit, especially regarding characterisation, is really very much sought after. Cheers.

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. So don't sue.

* * *

****

**Moments**

**.. Yes ..**

He was drowning in the nothingness.

Hour after hour, bounce after bounce and life drifted away as if it were a shadow of yesterday's angel, leaving him bare and just there – still breathing yes, but not really. Sleep, his only relief had deserted him – no longer did it mean rest. Sleep was hair like the red of fire brigade trucks, eyes like little pools of café latte demanding to be drunk, though not by him. Never by him. Sleep was also lemons and the number 7 and that goddamn hair and that disgusting smile that made him want to cringe but for all that, were allowed to drink, not drown in, the little pools of café latte.

And there they were. He couldn't help but look, could never help but look even as every molecule of him was screaming Turn Away. So he looked on, silent and alone and there was a touch, a smile, a peck, a tease, and oh he was sinking deeper and deeper until he could no longer see anything but the murky waters of abandon. And this had to stop.

He knew he couldn't go on. Not like this, not this fast, not now. Not not not. And he wondered when it had become a World About Not. Because then, what about Yes? He craved it, he yearned for it, he hurt for it with all his being, because after all, it was the only thing he was allowed to want now. So he screamed it that night as the body under him rocked and arched and pushed, he whispered it that night clutching the unfamiliar blankets as all sorts of devious things were happening to his chest, he murmured it that nightinto the ear of that beautiful beautiful body amidst the sweat and the noise and the discothèque lights.And this continued until he had replaced the world of Not with a world about pretend Yeses.

And there they were again. Except this time only him, with no lemons or the number 7 or broom-like hair or that disgusting smile. So they looked at one another and it was that current in the air that sizzled and shimmered and oh, this time it was a yes for real.

_Yes. _

_You fly when you're with him._

He wants to say.

_Yes._

_You shine and you create and you are Yes._

_All this with him. Yes._

And so he turns away. Away from the café latte pools, away from the fire brigade red, away from the 'Kitsune!' – because it is all worth it for Hanamichi's Yes.

* * *

Hm. I felt like writing this morning. And this was the product, not particularly satisfied with it, but as of right now don't know exactly what to do with it... so here it is, and here it will remain until I can figure out what's wrong.

**A/N: **_Moments_ is a collection of mini writing exercises in the Slam Dunk universe. It's my way of exploring voice, language, characterisation in hopes of finding one which not only I, but the characters too, are comfortable with (even though I seem to be stuck in limbo writing in the same style, practically, over and over). Each short can be read separately or as a series. Frankly I did intend for all of them to be from the same timeline, however since they're all in such random order, and since I am so horribly vague with my writing... whatever. Whoever said interpretation and intent have to be one and the same?

Also someone askedme about my'ship -I'm a RuHana shipper at heart. But it would be wrong to say that each of these ficlets are RuHana, infact, I'm more of a RuHana sadist. I love torturing them, sorry.

I know my writing is ambiguous at best, and that can be extraordinarily frustrating. Don't worry if you don't know, or don't understand what I'm writing about, because most likely it's my fault for failing to communicate, rather than yours for not understanding. Plus, there is no correct understanding. Again emphasising the intent vs interpretation thingy. :) So yeah, hopefully that was somewhat helpful, even if it was extremely self centered. Thanks for reading guys.


	4. Cherries

**Author's Note:** Again thanks to everyone for taking the time to send feedback, much love (especially to KanonA because dude, you rock for reviewing 'em all). This is different, style-wise,to the rest. I hope it is anyway... Concrit is welcome, always. This is shounen-ai, or yaoi if you prefer, please leave if that's not your thing. This is my cherry coloured almost fairy tale told in parenthesis. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. So don't sue.

* * *

**Moments **

**.. Cherries ..**

It began with cherries (they were so red. Like blood).

Do you remember? I had sneaked out mum's secret recipe for that famous cherry-mint pie of hers. You didn't know anything about cooking back then, but it was for Hikoichi so certainly worth it in your book. You always felt you owned him so much didn't you?

You had flour on your cheeks (snowflakes) and cherry stains on your lips (rose petal red); you were the unconventional modern day snow white, but more beautiful because you were (mine) firelight with that hair. Something changed then, I couldn't figure out what yet, only that suddenly I was living in a world that was madness and honey and I was high from it.

From that moment on I needed to… sense you. See you, hear you, smell you, touch you, (even then) taste you – infuse my senses completely with you – I was hooked and you were my ecstasy. I remember running to Shohoku every day after school, and before school, and during lunch breaks and sometimes even missing basketball practice. You were so clueless back then, thinking that it was some huge Ryonan conspiracy to spy on The Tensai's Techniques. Though I wasn't much better I admit - I convinced myself that I had put on a few too many pounds during the off season, and Shohoku was just convenient. Some days I wish we hadn't wasted so much time, but how'd we have known? We were boys (barely men) and these days had been our once-upon-a-times.

It wasn't really until that lazy afternoon with you and Akagi's little sister did I finally get it. You were making goo-goo eyes at her like always, except it didn't pass me by like it usually did. Instead, my hands started trembling and the breeze cut (like glass) and I felt like I was bleeding all over. It hurt. So much. And from then on I knew who I wanted to be, and it didn't feel absurd at all. Valentine. I wanted to be Valentine and bring you the stars, the moon and the planets.

It began with cherries (again).

Our first kiss. It felt almost like an accident, a result of a silly game. Your eyes were so wide, and so were mine, we were staring at each other so hard I couldn't feel my heartbeat. We were frozen like ice (time nonexistent) and then the trickle of cherry juice from your lips to mine, enticing like a whisper and I Just Had To Lick It. Thatwas it – we were caught and I'd pulled you into my honey mad world.

But it's time now Hanamichi, to find your happily ever after, he's waiting your (Ice Prince) Charming is. Only just leave me with Valentine, and I'll have my fairy tale.

* * *

Ugh. Hope that wasn't too sappy.


End file.
